Fail of a cooking class
by Pretzels4Pearl
Summary: Oh god. This is just meetmorp. It's hilarious though.
1. Lesson 1, Eggs

**ASH AND SERENA ENROLL IN A COOKING CLASS TOGETHER, BUT TO THEIR SURPRISE, GARNET IS THE TEACHER! AND PEARL IS A STUDENT TEACHER. (OH GOD)**

"I wonder who the teacher will be!" Serena said excitedly.

"I hope its not Brock." Ash muttered, thinking of his traveling companion that would flip out at the sight of any girl.

"Did you say something, Ash?" Serena asked.

"Nothing, nothing!" Ash replied.

Ash pushed open the door to the cooking classroom, allowing Serena to enter before him. In the front of the classroom, at the front station was a strange woman, notably with sunglasses.

Four of the stations were filled, but there was one station with only one person, which caught both Ash's and Serena's eye.

There was a girl with short orange hair, a blue t-shirt and jeans. She kept looking at her watch and tapping her foot on the ground.

"Pearl, where's Amethyst?" The woman up front asked.

"Garnet, she's late again!"Pearl complained.

Ash and Serena found an empty station and put on their aprons.

"Okay Braixen, come on out!" Serena had her partner come out. "Will you help us, Braixen?"

Braixen nodded.

"Do you want to help too, Pikachu?" Ask asked the electric Pokemon.

"Pika Pikachu!" came the reply.

"Okay class." Garnet began. "If you don't know, I'm Ga-"

"AM I LATE?!" someone shouted as they barged into the classroom.

The girl had long white hair, a white tank top, and black pants.

"Amethyst where have you been?!" Pearl asked.

"I was late.'" Amethyst shrugged.

"I'm Garnet." The teacher continued. "An' we're making scrambled eggs today."

Serena carefully got the eggs while Ash got the rest of the ingredients.

"So what you want to do is get a frying pan and and turn the oven on." Garnet instructed.

"Already done!" Serena whispered to Ash.

"Now take the eggs and crack them on the side of the frying pan like this."

Garnet hit the egg on the side of the frying pan and the yolk spilled into the frying pan, but so did the eggshell.

"And that can be fixed.' Garnet used the spatula to shove the rest of the eggshell into the pan.

Ash picked up an egg but Serena took it from him.

"You're not supposed to hit it hard!" She reprimanded him. "You do it like this."

Serena gently hit the egg on the side of the frying pan and pulled the cracked shell so the yolk slid out, getting no eggshell in the frying pan.

"I"ll try." Ash took another egg. he copied Serena and got the yolk into the pan.

Pikachu took the final egg, but almost fell into the frying pan. But Braixen caught his tail. Braixen cracked the egg for Pikachu, who then proceeded put the yolk in with the others.

Time passed as the class went on. Serena and Ash became more relaxed being around each other instead of being tense, as the were when they came in. When everyone was done, they put their plates on the front table.

Serena's and Ash's looked the best, but what caught everyone's eyes was the plate that looked liked it had metal scraps in it.

"AMETHYST WHY IS THERE METAL IN THERE?!" Pearl shouted.

"I'dunno." Amethyst looked around lazily.

"WELL ITS YOUR FAULT!"

"I guess you could say it was...scrappy?" Amethyst smiled.

"This is not the time for puns!"

During the argument, Ash and Serena left the class.

"Well that was the strangest class ever." Serena said.

"True that." Ash agreed.

THE END

 **A/N my friend wrote this. Favorite if you think she's a genius. XD**


	2. Lesson 2, Muffins

**Clemont and Peridot meet+other stuff**

 **Thanks Annabella Lucy Nox for the ideas ;)**

It was another normal day for Clemont and Bonnie in Lumiose City. Well, if having five challengers in a day was normal.

The sibling duo had decided to take a cooking class in Lumiose, but had missed the first week because of challengers. Bonnie was looking at every shop, as if she'd never seen them before.

"Bonnie! You've seen these shops a thousand times, at least!" Clemont said.

"But there's something new every time!" Bonnie countered.

Clemont sighed. His Aipom arm shot out and picked Bonnie up and sprinted to the cooking class.

"Hey big brother, this isn't much faster." Bonnie noted.

"What can I say? I'm not fast!"

Clemont set Bonnie down and opened the door to the building.

Now inside, they looked across the room to see a tall woman with sunglasses and large square hair, in blue jeans, a red shirt, and an apron sporting the words "kiss me and I break your face." Chatting with her was a girl in black tank top and purple leggings with long, purple-ish grey hair.

Clemont looked into the corner to see a girl in a green hoodie and what looked like pajama pants, with diamond shaped golden hair. She was playing around with what looked like a robot, screwing things in and messing with wires. Standing at the large counter facing the students was a tall pale girl with short strawberry-orange hair, in a green sleeveless shirt, and an electric blue skirt with ruffles. She looked like she was preparing ingredients. Also there was Ash and Serena.

Bonnie saw the girl preparing ingredients. She gasped and exclaimed: "She's pretty!"

"Bonnie don-" Clemont was cut off as Bonnie ran over to her.

"What's your name Ms.?" Bonnie asked.

"Pearl." Said Pearl.

She gasped. "Even your name is pretty! Please will you look after my brother?! He needs a girl like you to take care of him!"

Pearl looked awkward. "Ummm, I-I mean-"

The tall woman stepped in front of her. "She's off limits." She said.

Bonnie gasped. "What's your name?"

"Garnet." Said Garnet.

"You're really tall!"

"Thanks."

"Your hair is a square! Can I sit your on your head?"

"Bonnie! That's a rude question!"

Not seeming to care, Garnet picked Bonnie up and put her on top of her hair.

"Umm, if you're sure that's okay..." Clemont trailed off.

Garnet looked down at him and said "It's fine."

It was quiet.

"If we're done with all of this awkwardness," Pearl broke the silence. "Can we get started?"

"Yes. Let's." Said Garnet. Bonnie somersaulted off of Garnet's head and ran back over to Clemont.

"So what are we making?" Clemont asked.

"Blueberry muffins." Said Garnet. "Get out some bowls."

"Okay! THE FUTURE IS NOW THANKS TO SCIENCE! CLEMONTIC GEAR ON!" Clemont yelled.

Bonnie facepalmed.

"Wha?" asked Pearl.

"Go go Aipom arm!" Clemont yelled as the infamous robotic arm shot out of his backpack, attracting the attention of both Pearl and the girl in the corner, who walked over.

"This happens a lot." Serena informed the gems, who had no idea what was going on.

"This is fascinating!" Said the girl in green. "So utterly useless. and yet you use it anyway!"

Clemont looked at her as if she were insane. "It's not useless! Who are you anyway?!"

The girl stood up to her fullest height, (Which was a bit shorter than Bonnie,) and said "I am Peridot!"

"Oh my gosh." Said Bonnie. "You're SO CUTE!"

Garnet smiled. "That's what Steven said."

They finally managed to get to the point where they had the batter ready.

"Okay." Said Garnet. "Now that we're this far, you take the batter and do this."

She then proceeded to pour all the blueberries into the batter and stirred it until the batter turned blue.

"Aren't you supposed to fold the blueberries in?" Asked Clemont.

Garnet looked at him. "I make my food however I want. Who's the teacher here?"

"You." Said Clemont. "But maybe it should be her. She's doing it right." He said, pointing at Pearl.

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!" Ash yelled. Serena elbowed him. "What, you said it too!" Serena blushed.

"Sorry, but I'd rather not." Said Pearl.

After cooking the muffins, (Two of Amethyst's exploded so it took a bit longer than expected.) they were pretty proud of the results.

Peridot didn't make any. Amethyst's had some wires sticking through the tops. Garnet's stood in the center, bright blue. Ash's, Serena's, Clemont's and Bonnie's, all turned out okay, and Pearl's were the image of perfect.

"AMETHYST." Pearl said, voice rising. "WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME?!"

"Well, Peri wasn't helping out, so I made it onto a collaborative piece! Remember the robot she was playing with? Well..." She trailed off.

Pearl sighed exasperatedly. "Amethyst."

"I like it. It's interesting." Said Garnet.

"Bonnie, come on. We need to head to Laverre City to get parts for my next robot!" Said Clemont.

Bonnie's eyes lit up. "How about you guys come?" She said to the gems. "You two know about tech, you are really nice, and you make yummy muffins!"

They all looked to see one of Amethyst's cyborg muffins was missing.

"You might want to do something about that." Said Pearl.

Amethyst smiled. "It's okay guys! I think she got the one with the least amount of wire and metal parts in it! It might have had some scraps from Peridot's hoodie though!"

Garnet ignored Amethyst and Pearl. "We'll come." she said.

"Yay!" Bonnie said.

 **A/N Oh god this took forever. My friend and I both worked on this chapter.**


	3. Lesson 3? Adventures I guess

**Disclaimer in chapter one. I can't be with my friend while I'm writing this chapter, and it's also not midnight, so I hope this meets your expectations.**

Steven looked around at the darkened sky. "Wow, that went later than I thought it would. My phone says it's almost eleven!"

"So," Pearl asked, "where are we headed?"

Clemont smiled. "We're heading to a store not too far from here to get some parts for my next robot.

Ash sighed. "Clemont, as much as we'd love to come with you, Serena and I have somewhere else to be so... bye!" He said suddenly, grabbing Serena by the hand and running off with her.

Clemont took no mind of his friends leaving. "Well, shall we get going then?"

Peridot grabbed onto Pearl's shirt. Pearl looked down at her. "Yes Peridot?"

Peridot's eyes were half closed, and she was swaying precariously.

"Oh hold on a minute everyone! I think she's going to fall asleep." She knelt down in front of Peridot and lifted the sleepy Dorito onto her back.

"I duneedabe carried." Peridot mumbled sleepily.

"Of course not." Pearl said smiling. "But I'm nice."

"Yoo duneedabe nice, I dunneedabe carried." She protested halfheartedly, knowing that the battle was already lost.

"Well, I want to. Peridot, can I please carry you?" Pearl asked.

"Okeey, since yoo asked so nicelee, I guesss." Peridot said, her words blurring into each other.

"Thank you Peridot." Pearl said. "Okay, let's go."

The shop turned out to be a good hour walk away, and while they had a lot to talk about, it became harder and harder for Steven and Bonnie to stay awake. Peridot had long since fallen asleep on Pearl's back. Around fifteen minutes to the store, Garnet did something unexpected. Or maybe completely expected. It depends on how you look at it.

Garnet picked the now nearly sleepwalking Bonnie up, and set her on her head. Bonnie immediately fell asleep without question.

"Hey Steven." Amethyst said, catching the tired half-human's attention. "You wanna ride on my shoulders so we can be twice as tall?" She asked.

"YEAH!" Steven yelled excitedly, making Peridot flinch at the noise. She mumbled something, then settled down again.

"Shhh." Said Pearl. "You're going to wake her up."

Steven looked apologetically at Pearl. "Sorry Pearl, I won't do it again, I promise."

Clemont stopped in his tracks and turned around. "It seems we have made unexpected progress and have arrived ten minutes early!"

He turned right and walked up to a brightly lit building, whose electric doors opened to reveal the inside of a shop.

And a dark purple Pokemon in a bow tie, who was biting into a smooth, pale, gem.


End file.
